Requiem for my old friend

I said goodbye to my old girl on Saturday. She wasn't the most beautiful horse in the world, or the strongest or the fastest, but she was my dream come true, and I loved her. Because I loved her, I agonized for a long time as to whether I would choose to lay her to rest forever. But then I realized that my choice was to either do it and wonder whether it was the right thing, or to avoid doing it because it was going to be hard and then regret it. So because she was in failing health, I like to think I chose to do a hard thing for her sake, and to wonder instead of regret. I have always wanted to do right by her as she was a steady, faithful presence my life for over 22 years, and that means something.

I believe I saved Mistie twice: once from her first home, and then from a leasing family who had started to neglect her before I moved to the Midwest. But Mistie saved me far more times, from adolescent angst, from boredom, from crashing while jumping her over picnic tables in the park or riding her down Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway in nothing but a halter and rope. She kept me safe while also keeping my sense of youthful power and immortality in tact. She was a truly gifted jumper. She was sensible and stoic. She wasn't a complainer. She constantly forgave my numerous rookie mistakes. In her final years she was a fine barn mascot and the epitome of gentle kindness to Owain and my nieces Hope and Ellie, who took a special shine to her. She gave me focus, responsibility, and years and years of fun. She loved me back in her no-nonsense way.

She died peacefully on a beautiful, uncharacteristically warm October day, and spent her last morning in the corner of the pasture, where I found and photographed her sunning herself happily. I'm glad I was able to bury her here on the farm, where we will hold her in our memories.

I thank my stalwart husband, who I'm sure had no idea what he was getting into when he married a horse girl twelve years ago. He saw to some of the hardest parts on Saturday when I couldn't. I also thank all of my kind friends and family for their support and dear messages to me, none of which I've been able to respond to properly. So many of you have been there from the beginning of my journey with Mistie, and it is evident to me that you truly understand. Your love has filled me with gratitude and eased the way along this path.