Could someone just do us a favor and bring us one that works?

Either the stork's GPS is on the blink or this baby did NOT get the memo. I'm sorry, but babies in this house are supposed to have hard core opinions they like to share loudly at all hours of the day and night. I'm pretty sure this one may be broken, actually. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to let you know that we're sending Phelan back to the factory for reconditioning. Not only does he burn my retinas with his blinding cuteness (though I suppose you do get points for use of irony when you advertise Akron on your hat like that, Smug Little Person), he spends most of the day sleeping (boo-ring) and then has the audacity to smile ridiculously the rest of the time like Buddy from the movie ELF. I'm definitely giving this baby an "N" for Needs Improvement. Some high-maintenance type effort every once in a while would be nice, little monkey.

Love, Auntie.