We're Driiiiiiiiiiiiving!

I have no idea why it's taken us this long, but today was the first day we actually got Gideon hooked up to the forecart and GOING. He was pretty wonderful about the whole thing - his usual unflappable self. I'm going to try to remember this day the next time he decides to cool off his dinner-plate-sized feet in the water trough or flings his semi-tire feeders around for me to fetch and return to their place.

While we were away...

Chris, Ellis and I spent a hiatus from the farm in Minneapolis recently - a few weeks to just be together as a family and allow for some breathing room for everyone in our household - something that hasn't happened since we all moved in together nearly three years ago. During our time in the city, we spent our time together - Ellis kicking the ball through Minnehaha Falls Park, taking walks with Dan's dog, Scout, watching spring finally make its grand entrance to the midwest. The day we left the farm, there was still lots of snow on the ground - now it's green and the tulips and peonies are on their way up. The lilac tree buds are ready to burst.

We also worked and ran errands; cleaned and cooked. But in between we found some time for a few fun outings, including a long-awaited trip to the Minneapolis Central Library. Beautiful, enormous, impressive. Ellis has been there numerous times with his GaGa, so he knew the kid's section well, "running around like wild" (as he calls it), gathering up books and excitedly flipping through a page or two before exclaiming, "now let's read THIS one!"

Minneapolis Library

We were also visited by Chris's mom and Nana - from South Dakota - we always love to be with them. Ellis was in heaven with his Grandma Mary and Nana, especially on their trip to the zoo and Dairy Queen (he still talks about his ice cream cone). Nana is a brilliant pianist and was thrilled to give Ellis a little piano lesson.

Charis and I also had the grand pleasure of taking mom out for her much awaited birthday date. We saw an outrageous, over-the-top, incredible performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream at the stunning Guthrie Theater. It was a feast for the eyes and such a treat to be together on a gorgeous spring night. We even spent the intermission out on the "bridge to nowhere" at the Guthrie, overlooking the sunset on the Mississippi River.
I'm back at the farm now with Ellis and it is good to be here--to see the garden and ground ready to be worked. Though there is always too much to do, it is encouraging to see the exciting changes ahead. As I work my way back into a flow here, I hope to have the clarity and time to articulate more of our evolving hopes and dreams for this place. In the meantime, we'll at least try to remember to toss a few photos up to share!

I'm Gonna Get You, You'd Better Run!

Peanut Butter

Waking and feeding

Last night Jay and I decided it was time to wean Owain. This is a surprisingly complex issue, as a certain part of me has wanted to be free of nursing for a while but another, more complicated part struggles with letting that element of our relationship go. I've been pretty transparent about my insecurities as a parent, and nothing has highlighted those insecurities like the sleep issues we've experienced with Owain. At times Jay and I have felt exhausted, guilty, inept, embarrassed, lost, hopeless, disconnected, depressed, foggy, worried. We cringe every time Owain wakes the rest of the household in the wee hours, and understand the toll it takes, individually and collectively, on the community here. We are frustrated with our inconsistency. And this morning as I rocked my little insomniac back to sleep without nursing him, my body released the milk of its own accord, wanting, wanting to feed him. And this seemed like the perfect symbol of the inevitable back and forth that goes along with motherhood - the simultaneous need to release and to nurture. I can't imagine that will ever change, and I want to honor and embrace that paradox.

April in...

...Paris



...Wisconsin