Okay, so my greatest fear is that this baby is NEVER LEAVING MY WOMB. I just have a feeling that it'll be 18 years from now, I'll be this ginormous abdomen - a freak of nature really - unable to walk or even leave the couch as my 18 year old child continues on his or her freeloading venture in my belly. Drinking (root)beer and playing an electric guitar without an amp with his or her buddies. And eating hot pockets. Can I just say one thing? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
My due date is 4 days away, the midwives' cell phones are on at all times, the bags are packed, the birthing tub stands at the ready, and I've had basically NO SIGNS of labor thus far. None. This kid hasn't even dropped into my pelvis yet! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT! I think this clearly rates much unprecedented whining and capital letter use, don't you? Plus, the heat index here in the good ole midwest has been and will be around 105 for the next several days. In the immortal words of Nancy Kerrigan when she got whacked in the knee with a pipe by Tonya Harding's henchmen: "WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????"
Whew! Sorry to complain - I just had to let go of some of the angst. I have to believe that it's all part of the plan that when a preggie gets to this stage, she trades in all of her labor anxiety for garden variety impatience: when are you ever coming out, child?? Yes, I'll miss the head-to-bladder grinding dance moves, the occasional heel to the ribs, the karate (pronounced ka-ra-tay)-in-jello high kicks. I will. I just want to meet you face to face! On the outside! Is that too much to ask?!
I would comment on other news, but really when it gets to this point for someone in my condition, there just isn't much other news. The neighborhood ladies here threw me a very nice baby shower (and there weren't even any cheesy games!) We had the Beyrer family over for a barbeque last week, which was good times. We got a few decent rains before the heat wave settled in. The horses are cranky and hot. The cats are comatose blobs (not a huge change from their normal forms, actually). I've been reading Tracy Chevalier's novels, which have distracted me to a reasonable degree. The housemates are hanging in there as best we can, making frequent trips to the river. Ellis is his usual hambone, bear-crawling, joyful noise-making self.
What are you up to?
Love and little crowning heads (PLEASE, GOD, PLEASE),
Charis
Friday, July 28, 2006
How to extract an infant squatter?
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7 comments:
I just have to throw in my huge guffaw at that good old classic Nancy Kerrigan wail of Charis's. As HUHlarious as that is, I have to say I'm really glad Charis isn't ACTUALLY doing that here on a daily basis. Or at all. She's a serious trooper, I tell you. Big belly + 105 degrees = nastiness. But Charis continues to be as graceful and good hearted as is humanly possible, given that ginormous baby in there. I just hope she can hold out until after tonight since we're planning on having spring rolls and thai salad for dinner. YUM YUM.
Greetings from a long-lost friend! I was asking Kathie G about baby Collins the other day and she pointed me blogward. I've been lurking like a hungry troll ever since (heh, heh, heh!) hoping to hear the good news. Hang in there in these last few days (hours? weeks?--no, let's not go there). Letting Thelonius come in his/her own time is worth all the waiting. 'Course, both my kids were early, so I'll just shut up now! Drove by Foley's on a whim the other day when I was in the neighborhood. I drove right past the main entrance--it's all built up with mongo cookie-cutter homes now, and the back entrance (by the Marshall Park end) is completely overgrown. Sad. Slap some hot chili paste on those spring rolls tonight and get that baby moving! Sex helps too (ahem).
Karen P (B)
Nipple stimulation. No kidding, it works for just about everyone I know, besides myself. Elka didn't want to come out even after a week overdue and being induced. Oh well. So lets see, SEX, SPICEY FOODS, BUMPY RIDES in the car, and NIPPLE STIMULATION. Can't wait to see this little one in a few weeks. Best of luck woman, you and Jay will be in our thoughts and prayers!!!!
Wow, you just never know who will turn up on the ol' blogspot these days! VERY nice to hear from you, Karen (!!) - I'd love to be in touch and find out more about your life too - and thanks to all for the updates and advice. I'm thinking I'm going to wait to take any serious natural labor-inducing measures until Wednesday, when the 107 degree weather has come to an end (they're saying 80 by then! Hurrah!).
Unfortunately the spicy food and sweaty sex are not at the top of my list in this heat (I'm thinking I don't want to be trying to give birth in it anyway), but then again I probably haven't reached the apex of my desperation yet, so stay tuned! I'm sure by next week I'll be drinking a glass of castor oil...
Okay, I have to go because the BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD just came home with some popsicles!
Love and thanks to all for your encouragement!
Charis
Let me tell you there are lots of popsicles but no sex. The sacrifices a husband has to make!!
Jay
Jill! Wow! They're coming out of the woodwork! Old home West Hills week, eh? Jill, it's so marvelous of you to post. I've been dying to know about your move to the country and all that's entailed! I tried to email you a month or two ago, but I probably got some letters out of order with your last name (imagine that! :D) But seriously - email me and let me know how you and the family (and mother-in-law) are faring if you get a chance (charissimo@hotmail.com)! Or feel free to post here too. I'd love to know. Again, so nice to see your name up on the site!
XXOO
Charis
Check this out.... Time to get busy...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14107632/
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