Your Morning Quiz

Hey ho, everyone! My morning here at Lostview has been a great reminder of why I would be far too bored with city-type problems. So for your entertainment, I've created an enjoyable little quiz to see how you would grapple with today's unique challenges, farm-style. See if you've got what it takes.

a) Your Belgian has voluminous diarrhea-cicles stuck to his butt and tail - most likely from being wormed yesterday. When I say diarrhea-cicles, I mean a full-on runny pile of green poo is stuck in a giant icy wad to his tail and nether-regions. I was going to take a picture as words just don't do it justice, but I remembered that some of you are reading this over your morning Cheerios. To complicate matters, your 15 month old has just gone down for his nap, which means you have 45 minutes to take care of this problem, as well as get a full body cleanse in afterward. Did I mention it's 10 degrees below zero? Go.

b) Your woefully inadequate snow car, aka "Chevy Prism," is stuck at the bottom of the hill in your driveway. Its tires are bald. Your husband needs a ride home later. You must negotiate said "car" to the top while keeping your whining 15 month old off of the gear shift in the front seat. Still 10 below. Did I mention there were 6 inches of snow on the ground? Go.

c) You go out to start a fire in the hot tub wood stove, scoop out the ash and realize it's soaking wet. Water is leaking in to the stove from the tub. Do you start a fire anyway? Is there something else you can do to prevent further catastrophe? Miraculously the 15 month old is still asleep but you don't have much time. And your hair is wet from the shower, and forming icicles. Go.

d) You've made a pan of caramels for the holidays, and the recipe said to pour the soft, warm caramel goo into a sheet of buttered foil in the pan, which you questioned but did anyway because you're too anal-retentive about following recipes. The caramel has been sitting in a giant chunk chilling out in the porch and now must have the foil forcibly and meticulously extracted in tiny pieces and be cut into bite-sized chunks. The 15 month old is obsessed with the caramel, and can't have too much because otherwise he will be bouncing off the walls in short order. Go.

Have fun, kiddies!

Charissimo